The closest thing to me was a knife… The story of Kayla

My name is Kayla Hurst, and I have been bullied basically my entire life. If it isn’t at home it is at school. It seems like everywhere I go I get bullied.

When I was in elementary school I didn’t have a lot of friends. When it came time for recess, the class would go outside to the playground. I would look around and see the other kids laughing and having a good time, but then I look around by me and I see no one.

I was the kid who was always alone, who never got picked to be on someone’s team, who got laughed at if I fell, or the kid who was just left behind.

I thought that when I got to middle school that these things would stop, but I was wrong. In middle school it seemed to only get worse. There were days when I would come home crying, lock myself in my room, and just isolate myself from anyone and everyone. Then there were days that would start off great, but then in p.e. my day would get ruined by the girls who would call me fat, ugly, Godzilla, beast, and so on. On those days I didn’t want to do anything, so I stayed in the locker rooms and cried. My p.e. coach didn’t care what the girls were saying, because she was also saying those things.

I tried to tell someone else, but no one ever did anything about it to make it stop. Whoever I told would just say,

It’s OK, I’m sure they didn’t mean it in a hurtful way. Maybe tomorrow everything will be back the way it was, but what they didn’t know, was that this happened every single day. So again, I just started to isolate myself from everyone. I didn’t want to be around anyone, or talk to anyone.

Going into high-school, I still didn’t have many friends, and the ones I did have weren’t very good friends. In high-school the bullying got worse. Since telling someone didn’t work out the last time, I just kept it to myself. Now that I am a senior getting ready to graduate, I have kind of let the bullying go…but that still doesn’t get rid of the years of pain an hurt that I went through. Almost every night I lay, silently crying because I don’t want anyone to hear. I cry because the pain is still here, that much hurt will never leave. All of those years getting bullied will always be with me, and I know that it may never stop.

There were nights I would be home by myself, and I would be feeling sad and the closest thing to me was a knife.

As of right now, I have at least ten scars on my left wrist. Some of them you cannot see, but I know that they are there. As a result of being bullied, I started to hurt myself. I felt that cutting myself would release some of the pain, but it didn’t. I no longer cut myself, because it is wrong. Still to this day though, there are times when I come home, lock myself in my room, and just think of ways to kill myself. I feel that my family, my friends, my school, and even the world would be better off without me. For so many years, the only reason I didn’t commit suicide, was because I didn’t want to upset my parents or friends, but now that I see that they don’t really care, what’s the point in sticking around?

I have come to hate myself just as much as the bullies hate me. I sometimes even bully myself by calling myself fat or ugly.

I just want to know if anyone truly cares enough to stop the bullying, not just for me, but for all of the other children and teens who are getting bullied. I’m choosing to stick around and see where my life goes, but you have other people killing themselves at just 8 years old! When does the bullying stop?!?

All I ask is that someone, anyone just care enough to stop this madness. No mother or father deserves to lose their child because of what someone said or did. Bullies are taking things too far and they need to be stopped! So please help us! If no one has ever said that they need you, the truth of the matter is…WE NEED YOU! So please don’t over look this.

Sincerely,

A bully victim, Kayla Hurst from Mobile, Alabama.

~ Broken Hearted ~

One Response to “The closest thing to me was a knife… The story of Kayla”

  1. Dajah says:

    I know how you fell I’ve been through the same thing

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